Human Ooze is too Common in my Daily Life
I would go through the daunting task of telling you to use your discretion when reading this blog but I think by now you get the picture. Oh who am I kidding?? POSTED: this is human ooze and things of that grotesque nature! You have been warned! I don’t want to hear your sissy comments about how I ruined you appetites. Ok now that I have that down we can begin.
So this is a continuation on the last time I let y’all into my scientific world. You know the melted guy who I was sifting through? If not, look because I’m a nice person here is the link “dead melted dude.” I know I’m the sweetest scientist you will ever meet. Ok back on topic! So I have been spending all my time on this slimy case and I have really been working my butt off to find out who this dude is. The only thing I have is missing people reports and there are fifty possible people it could be. The particulates in the dirt don’t match anything specific it’s all typical stuff. This killer is good! Well good at hiding all the evidence because obviously it’s not good to kill people. So his character is not good just his tactics. (For him anyway) for me not so much. Ok I think y’all get the point. Back to the topic, of the dead melt-y dude so I am finally done sifting through his melted flesh I have found little more than his body type and weight. Oh and his last meal was spaghetti! Will a lot of meat balls. You’re sitting there wondering “how the heck do you know he ate spaghetti?!?!?!” This is the part where I get all sarcastic and tell you “Wouldn’t you like to know???” ok so you put a sample of the lovely liquid on a slide and look at it in your microscope and when you’re a smartass like me, you know what the particles of meat look like. And noodles look a certain way as well. You know what noodles look like? Wait I’ll stop myself, because you will never be able to eat noodles again if I tell you! Well yeah that’s what’s new in that lovely case so sorry Woman that’s all I have to really share about human ooze.
Oh and do y’all want to know all the “fantasy of the office?” so my boss apparently has the hots for me. The boss lady is super sexy and holy fuck it takes everything I have to avoid taking her up on her offers. And all the men at home are yelling go for it but reality is much different from the fantasy world. I can’t go for the boss because I promise I will screw something up for myself, and I really want this job to be a full time job not just an internship. Yes she says she can keep it separated between work and personal life but I don’t believe that’s possible. All the critics and horny men say do it, do it but I can’t. I think she is really sweet and really pretty but ugh I can’t. She’s the head honcho, the whole enchilada, the captain, kit and kabuttle, and the whole nine yards. She is the one that makes all the decisions and gets the last word on everything.
Now that I have explained the situation, I can tell you why this matters. This afternoon I was pulled into her office and told she needed my help with an evaluation of a victim. So of course I told her yes but we didn’t go to the examination table to find a corpse oh no she took me right past the table and to the locker room. I looked at her in a strange questioning way but I guess she didn’t notice because she just kept walking with my hand in hers. (You know, I don’t know why she was holding my hand and I really don’t know why I let her.) But that’s beside the point so we are walking into the locker room and she stops in the very back corner and lightly kisses me. I stand there kind of dumfounded but then she does it again and I kiss her back. So I will save all you sane people the details and leave it at this: she tastes sooooo good. Well that’s all I plan on sharing with the general public about that but ill keep you posted if it turns into anything special.
There I answered all the things I have been asked or demanded of as far as I know. Enjoy my life it is one hell of a roller coaster!
-me
I See Dead People Daily 