Posts Tagged ‘ boss ’

Sticky Situation: I like my dead people with a side of the boss!

Well I couldn’t decide whether to write two short blogs or one long blog so I asked someone and their response was: “it’s not quantity its quality” and I had to laugh because that doesn’t answer my question all that well but any way I went with one long blog. The first part shall be about my “John Doe” and the second part about the lady who I impressed with “John Doe.”

Last week I was given the lovely deadline of this coming Monday to figure out whom “human ooze” was. That explains why I wasn’t around to write much last week. Well anyway I had to find an ID for the bucket of slime sitting on my examination table. This seems all fine and dandy to some of you that think I can pop this into a machine and it tells me who it is. Sadly that is not the case it takes a lot of work.  Well as a last resort Friday afternoon I searched through the sludge one more time and found something shiny. My first thought was melted plastic or some sort of oil but then I found it was a chip of some sort. (Hears angels singing in the background) Guess what it is?? Go ahead guess!! Ok fine I’ll tell you. It was a piece of a pacemaker! And ya’ll all want to know why this is so exciting and it’s because this man was the only one with a pacemaker out of the list of missing men! So Friday when I found this I went leaping into my boss’s office (with piece in hand) and practically strike her with a lightning fast speech on my new discovery. The look on her face was epic! It was the dear in the headlights with WTF mixed in. She laughed and asked me to slow down and try again. I showed her what was in my hand and she was just as excited as I. she quickly looked up the info on the man and smiled: she had found a match. She called the police team and gave them the lovely news. Guess who’s moving up?!?! ME I am so happy like it’s kind of crazy like an orgasm at the work level. Ha-ha the pun totally not intended. So now I feel like I get to rub it in the big shots face cause me a student found it and they didn’t. So I had already scheduled to have dinner with the boss lady and now that I had found that I had a feeling that I would get more than dinner or dinner would be canceled either way. Stupid paper work but guess what neither of us had to do it she gave it to the other intern josh who had to do it all. Yay for being a favorite! Well that kind of introduces you into the next topic “The Boss”.

I have an amazing boss who is the perfect angel from heaven she is so nice to everyone it is ridiculous. I envy her for that. Anyway enough of my star struck babble. So I noticed about a month ago that my boss was particularly fond of me. I didn’t think too much about it till about a week ago when she led me into the locker room to play with me. Well that ended up being me playing with her until she orgasm several times. But back to Friday and a date. She told me she liked seafood and Italian food so in Texas that means “Olive Garden.”  I dressed in a skirt and nice top and some flats just the casual girl attire but when I arrived I saw her and wow black slacks, a red V neck and heels. To most of you lovely readers black and red mean nothing to you. As for the select few of you that really know me, you know that the entire date would be me trying to behave. I’ll explain that in a later post. But anyway I sat across from her at dinner and chatted about music and things in her life. Now that’s all I really got out of that conversation because I have the mind of a man I was staring into her soul through her red V neck. I had to study body language last year and boy did I put it to good use. I ordered my usual of muscles and shrimp pasta not even thinking about what her reaction would be. Well she ordered something with scallops and shrimp and some pasta thing and when she looked at my plate she laughed. I looked at her with a strange look but then I realized why she laughed. She was afraid of the muscles on my plate. She has never eaten real seafood just the simple things like shrimp and things of that nature. She watched me eat the first one and the second. I looked at her and asked her to try one at first she was reluctant but I won her over with the old “you can look at dead decomposing bodies all day long and eat but you can’t eat a simple muscle?” so she gave in defeated by her student for the second time that day and ate it. Of course I had to take it out of the shell for her and put it on her fork. She ate it as if it were human flesh. I laughed my ass off the whole time she chewed. Well after dinner we decided to go back to her place because well she isn’t in college which means she has a house to herself. We sat in her living room and drank wine and relaxed a little. She ran off to her room for a moment and came back in wearing a bikini. I laughed at her and inquired why she changed into it little did I know her explanation would be an action. She walked me to her back yard and showed me her pool. Of course we got in silly she was in a swim suite and I was stripped to a bra and underwear (by her of course). We… well I would say swam but we didn’t and I would say sit but the water was a bit deep for me to sit I mean I only stand at 5’3. But the rest of the night was spent in and out of each other. (yes that was intended) but I found out she has only been with one other woman and that was in high school so guess what I get to be “teacher” wow I really am mini woman L look out world! So to all you curious kitty’s there is what happened on Friday night without too much detail as I hate being that personal to the whole world. More to come I promise well I’ll do my best,

                                                                                  -me

Human Ooze is too Common in my Daily Life

 I would go through the daunting task of telling you to use your discretion when reading this blog but I think by now you get the picture. Oh who am I kidding?? POSTED: this is human ooze and things of that grotesque nature! You have been warned! I don’t want to hear your sissy comments about how I ruined you appetites.   Ok now that I have that down we can begin.

So this is a continuation on the last time I let y’all into my scientific world. You know the melted guy who I was sifting through? If not, look because I’m a nice person here is the link “dead melted dude.” I know I’m the sweetest scientist you will ever meet.  Ok back on topic! So I have been spending all my time on this slimy case and I have really been working my butt off to find out who this dude is. The only thing I have is missing people reports and there are fifty possible people it could be. The particulates in the dirt don’t match anything specific it’s all typical stuff. This killer is good! Well good at hiding all the evidence because obviously it’s not good to kill people. So his character is not good just his tactics. (For him anyway) for me not so much. Ok I think y’all get the point. Back to the topic, of the dead melt-y dude so I am finally done sifting through his melted flesh I have found little more than his body type and weight. Oh and his last meal was spaghetti! Will a lot of meat balls.  You’re sitting there wondering “how the heck do you know he ate spaghetti?!?!?!” This is the part where I get all sarcastic and tell you “Wouldn’t you like to know???” ok so you put a sample of the lovely liquid on a slide and look at it in your microscope and when you’re a smartass like me, you know what the particles of meat look like. And noodles look a certain way as well. You know what noodles look like? Wait I’ll stop myself, because you will never be able to eat noodles again if I tell you!  Well yeah that’s what’s new in that lovely case so sorry Woman that’s all I have to really share about human ooze.

Oh and do y’all want to know all the “fantasy of the office?” so my boss apparently has the hots for me. The boss lady is super sexy and holy fuck it takes everything I have to avoid taking her up on her offers. And all the men at home are yelling go for it but reality is much different from the fantasy world. I can’t go for the boss because I promise I will screw something up for myself, and I really want this job to be a full time job not just an internship. Yes she says she can keep it separated between work and personal life but I don’t believe that’s possible. All the critics and horny men say do it, do it but I can’t. I think she is really sweet and really pretty but ugh I can’t. She’s the head honcho, the whole enchilada, the captain, kit and kabuttle, and the whole nine yards. She is the one that makes all the decisions and gets the last word on everything.  

Now that I have explained the situation, I can tell you why this matters. This afternoon I was pulled into her office and told she needed my help with an evaluation of a victim. So of course I told her yes but we didn’t go to the examination table to find a corpse oh no she took me right past the table and to the locker room. I looked at her in a strange questioning way but I guess she didn’t notice because she just kept walking with my hand in hers. (You know, I don’t know why she was holding my hand and I really don’t know why I let her.) But that’s beside the point so we are walking into the locker room and she stops in the very back corner and lightly kisses me. I stand there kind of dumfounded but then she does it again and I kiss her back. So I will save all you sane people the details and leave it at this: she tastes sooooo good. Well that’s all I plan on sharing with the general public about that but ill keep you posted if it turns into anything special.

There I answered all the things I have been asked or demanded of as far as I know. Enjoy my life it is one hell of a roller coaster!

                                                                                                         -me